Back to work

School will open soon.
Now having a 2 in 1 stupid meeting at school for 3 days.
Damn!
Macam bagus je tapi they keep nagging about the same thing.
Maybe they should record this then they do not need to make this as a ritual anymore.
Stupid!

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Help Me Find The Title

tadi saya menyelongkar laci meja ibunda tercinta
lalu saya terjumpa benda itu
benda empat segi itu boleh dibuka dan di dalamnya mengandungi kata-kata
sekeping kad kecil yang pernah saya berikan kepada ibunda
dan kata-kata itu adalah luahan sajak yang saya cipta untuk dia
lebih kurang 8 tahun yang lalu
tapi sajak itu tidak bertajuk
kamu-kamu pandai-pandailah letak sendiri tajuknya


jadi sajaknya berbunyi begini
(ianya lebih sentimental jika dibaca dengan berlatarbelakangkan lagu "Because Of You" dari Celine Dion")


"Raising your child is a hard thing to do,
Especially when the child is stubborn and always burdens you,
But the child is never a child anymore though she is childish,
She's a grown-up now and sooner the childish attitude will be perished.

Is it me that is blind for not seeing love in your eyes,
Or is it that you do love me, but you love me in disguise.

I am your last daughter who always brings trouble, pain and laughter,
But whenever I do wrong, I always love you my dear mother..."


Tetiba pula saya rasa sebak membaca sajak buatan sendiri. Huhu.
Ok you don't have to say it, i was a spoiled daughter.
Sesiapa ada idea to give a title to that poem, please share.

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ruang peribadi

saya geram
rasa seperti ruang peribadi saya telah di hijack
tapi siapa yang hijack saya?
bukan manusia
bukan kucing
bukan osama bin laden

saya tidak suka
kerana saya tiada ruang peribadi
untuk saya menikmati keseronokan secara solo
untuk saya membuka baju
bukan sebab saya suka berbogel
tapi untuk mandi
keluar dari bilik air dibalut dengan tuala sahaja
dan air sisa mandi menitis dari badan dan rambut
membasahi permaidani
sambil mengeringkan badan
saya dapat menyanyi-nyanyi
menari-nari persis beyonce
biarpun punggung saya tidak sehebat dia

kembalikan ruang peribadi saya
jangan kamu hijack lagi
faham?


p/s: penulis berasa geram kerana menumpangkan biliknya untuk ibu saudara beliau yg datang sekeluarga dari kajang untuk beberapa hari.

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saya dahulu, saya sekarang

dahulu
saya menyayangi kamu lebih dari segalanya
lebih dari diri sendiri
ibu bapa saya pun saya tidak sayang sebegini

saya selalu buat kamu ketawa
buat lawak bodoh
bercerita itu ini
benda sekecil anak kuman saya mengadu pada kamu

bahagia
itu kata kamu
itu yang saya berikan pada kamu
walaupun saya sendiri tidak menyedarinya
betul agaknya saya bahagiakan kamu
sebab kamu selalu tersenyum
kamu pun layan karenah saya
walaupun saya manja berlebih-lebihan
mengada-mengada macam budak kecil
kamu layan
kamu suka... barangkali

sekarang
saya tidak tahu mengapa
semua rasa itu seperti mimpi sahaja
saya tahu saya tidak seperti dahulu
bahagia?
kamu tidak lagi ungkapkannya
tapi kamu sudah kurang tersenyum
apa makna semua itu?

mungkin salah saya
saya sudah tidak selalu buat kamu ketawa
saya sudah tidak buat lawak bodoh
tidak bercerita itu ini
tidak mengadu kepada kamu benda sekecil anak kuman

sudah tidak sayangkah saya pada kamu?
entah-entah kamu pun fikir begitu
tetapi bila saya tanya hati saya
tentang perasaan saya pada kamu
hati memberitahu saya
"saya rindu untuk menyayangi kamu lebih dari segalanya seperti dahulu"

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U oughta know that..

I lost.
Tonight i cried.
After all this time.

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Tiada Tajuk Yang Sesuai

how long should i keep myself silent?

my niece (bisyarah) is sleeping soundly next to me. before she fell asleep, she kept nagging about how her younger sister's loud snoring sound bugs her. "Kakak tokleh tido sebab Ain dengkur kuat gitumo.." I found it sweet and funny when she complained that. hihi.

Snoring. It surely is very distracting. Plus it brings sore to the ears when the snore sounds like drilling. I am glad i don't have this illness (does snore count as an illness?). But anyway how do i know if i don't snore when i'm sleeping? Hmmmm...

talking about sound, i have been living in denial, neglection and silence for four days. am i going to shut my mouth forever? I've got a lot of things to say to him but the words never come out right. Never. i just suck out what i have in mind.

It's 12.46 a.m now. Maybe i should join my niece, join her beautiful dreams. I've promised to take her for a jog at taman tomorrow morning after subuh. Teruja gila dia siap prepare baju and seluar segala. Children. Excited about almost everything.

Come to think of it,
How long should he keep himself silent?

*Adakah saya sudah serik dengan cinta atau cinta yang serik dengan saya?*

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sick psychotic feeling

alhamdulillah
majlis aqiqah WAAWAF went on smoothly.
the foods were good. especially the cake part. i made it. proudly.

but throughout the majlis, i kept missing in action.
i was totally disturbed by my own feelings.
forgive me mom and dad. for not lending my hands.
your daughter needed her own space.

went to catch up with aifaa and hani.
comfort. that's what they provided.
but did not let my feelings show.

i could not forget 'the words'.
he managed to fool himself .
he managed to hurt me.
but ain't no tears falling.

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saya tidak mahu menangis lagi

saya tidak mahu menangis lagi
walaupun saya kaum hawa
saya tidak mahu menjadi hawa yang lemah
saya hawa yang tabah

saya tidak mahu menangis lagi
kalau kamu menyakiti saya
saya tidak akan rasa disakiti
malah saya yang akan menyakitkan kamu
kalau kata-kata kamu berbisa
bagi saya ia tak apa-apa

saya sesekali tidak mahu menangis lagi
mungkin kamu tidak akan percaya
mungkin kamu akan cuba
untuk mencari peluang
supaya saya menitiskan air mata
tidak
saya tidak akan berbuat begitu

saya tidak mahu menangis lagi
jangan kamu tanya kenapa

saya betul-betul tidak mahu menangis lagi
itu kata saya

saya tidak mahu menangis lagi
mampukah saya?

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AKUJANJI

i've gained weight. after hari raya aidilfitri last time i just could not help eating and here comes the result which ruins my 3 months diet programme.

so here's my akujanji.

"aku berjanji, bersumpah dan berikrar walau apa cara sekalipun, untuk diet kembali, kawal nafsu makan dan exercise macam gila. Kamu-kamu semua adalah saksiku. i'm so tekad!"

dan di saat ini aku sedang mengunyah snack peninggalan seorang rakan.

dan sampai masa lebih kurang beberapa minit lepas ini, aku akan exercise.... dalam mimpi..


*hari jadi yang tidak seperti hari jadi*

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Children are gifts from God

Ekonomi dijangka meleset lagi tahun depan. But that applies only for me memandangkan telah bertambahnya anak buah aku yang ke-6 pada malam ini. Diulangi, ke-6! Wan Arina Aishah binti Wan Ahmad Fariz (WAAWAF) telah pn selamat dilahirkan pada hari ini 5 November 2008 tepat jam 8.15 malam. My bro has just MMSed me the pic of WAAWAF. Comel! Just like her aunt. Huhuhu.

Come to think of it, I never thought to have 4 nieces and 2 nephews at this age. Funny thing is, i did not really favour kids when i was young. Hate them. Berhingus! Suka nangis. Rasa macam nak babab-babab bila dengar bunyi "Uwekkkkk! Uwekkkkkkkkk!". Nak naik ulser kat telinga rasa. But now, it has flipped 180 degrees. I adore children so much. My lovely nieces and nephews, Kosai's little brother, Cikgu Bob's babyboy. They are so blissful and innocent. Gifts from heaven. Sounds crazy right?

Hmmm....Nampaknya tahun depan kene tambah budget duit raya. Huhu.


P/S: Gonna buy a pair of cute baby shoes to WAAWAF.

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Hari ini Hari Mengantuk Dunia Saya

Zzzzz...

Dijangkiti virus tidur yg berbahaya. This morning i insisted myself to wake up. Masa nak bangun tu rasa macam xnak lepaskan je bantal yang enak tu. 3,4 kali lepas dan peluk balik macam ada kuasa magnet!

Sampai sekolah dengan perasaan nak mengamuk. I even cursed one teacher for her bad driving skills. Masuk bilik guru i just went zzzzzz.

X sabar nak balik. Nak tidur atas tilam empuk.

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Blast!

It was my first time buying a pair of cute pumps. Like love at the first sight, i surrendered myself. I did not intend to buy any before coming here (KL), but the temptation was mutual.

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buat dia

dia
ada disiku
menemani
nyawanya
nafasnya
di telingaku

aku bahagia
dapat bersamanya
aku bahagia
baring di tepinya
aku bahagia
tidur dengannya

malam ini
aku abadikan
aku dan dia

malam esok
seoranglah aku
tanpa dia

dia
koko
kucingku

p/s: koko boyfrenku dalam jelmaan kucing

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drama only happens in movies

pelik bila memikirkan pertemuan itu. detik-detik kaca mata memandang kaca mata akhirnya membawa kepada sebuah hubungan persahabatan. ingatkan pandangan itu berhenti di situ saja dan tiada kesinambungannya. pandangan yang jatuh di atas titik buta. tapi tidak. ianya jatuh di atas satu garisan tanpa putus. ke mana agaknya garisan itu akan membawa jasad?

pelik.... tapi inilah kebenarannya.

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KL or KB?

It's holiday again. Counting each second for me to go home. Tick... Tick... Tick.. Tick... Nak balik kampung ke nak pegi kl? If I go home i can meet Koko. But money will fly. Home is so irresistible i could not help myself to go shopping. Want to buy this and that especially foods. Nak pegi kl. Nak ronda-ronda mengurangkan kekacauan jiwa. Nak jumpa Hujan by chance. They are performing at Planet Hollywood tomorrow, kalau ada jodoh berjumpalah aku dengan Encik Noh Rambut Tembikai.

So, apa solution nyer? Start the engine, KL here i come. After 2 days, balik KB!

"Mulakan langkahku dengan nicesepatu."

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Kangen

Aku kangen Koko.
Aku kangen kehidupan aku di UTM.
Aku kangen rakan-rakan seperjuangan di UTM.
Aku kangen familiku.
Aku kangen zaman kanak-kanakku.
Aku kangen zaman persekolahanku.
Aku kangen makanan-makanan yang enak di Kota Bharu.
Aku kangen seseorang.
Aku kangen bangat.
Kamu kangen?
P/S: Siapa itu Koko? Kalau dapat jawab dengan betul dpt hadiah choki2.

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Goodbye Dhuria

He said he's leaving for good. But for how long? Will he come back?

To my student Dhuria, teacher akan rindukan semua kenangan kita bersama. Don't forget us here: Azuwan, Afnan, Epul, Ajwad, Kosai, Suzie, Ijma, Shikin, Elly, Shuba and the rest. You might be far from us but we will always remember you for who you are and maybe one day we will still see each other again. Maybe by that time teacher makin cun dari sekarang sampai awak tak cam teacher. Take care my dear. Keep our memories fresh in mind.

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He Proposed..

We were in the car. Him sitting next to me. Me happily staring at him. The only face that i long to see everyday. We were chatting all the time. But somehow he showed some awkwardness. He didn't look composed like always like something was bothering his mind. Curiosity hit me but i could not detect any clue. The conversation stopped when he suddenly searched for something in his pocket. He took it out. A small red love-shaped box. And you could guess the content inside. I was nervous. But not as nervous as him. Speechlessly, he handed me the box. The moment i took it from his hand, tears were rolling down my cheeks. I opened it up and there it was. A beautiful diamond ring I've ever seen. He didn't say anything but i couldn't wait any longer so i told him "Yes, I'd marry you" and gave him a hug.

But all the above just occurred in my dream last night. It is not that 100% accurate because I've edited the part that he gave me 2 diamond rings. However, would the proposal be a 100% dream come true?

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Potato People Portfolio Result

Dear beloved students. These are all the marks for your Portfolio project.

1) Siti Ayuni bt Hussain (2 Dedikasi) - 16
2) Siti Farhana bt Othman (2 Dedikasi) - 17
3) Usha a/p Chandrasegaran (2 Dedikasi) - 16
4) Nur Ain Binti Rosda (2 Dedikasi) - 17
5) Chai Hui Juan (2 Dedikasi) - 18
6) Yong Mun Lee (2 Dedikasi) - 17
7) Nur Azini bt Abdullah ( Dedikasi) - 15
8) Isafariman bin Ishak (2 Dedikasi) - 14
9) Sahira Qistina (2 Dedikasi) - 17
10) Chong Mei Yan (2 Dedikasi) - 15 (1 Day Late)

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Shhh! Shhhhh! Shhhhoooooes!

I'm a real sucker for high heels. Really. I own dozens of them. I don't know since when this addiction has started but it happens that i love this new addiction and tend to slave myself for it.

I notice that the teachers in my school notice that i am the only noticeable person with a pair of adorable and nice sepatu tinggi. Even the students notice it too. They always go like "Wah Teacher, comelnya kasut teacher..." or "Teacher, tengok kasut..." or "Tak jatuh ke Teacher pakai kasut tumit tinggi mcm KLCC?". I don't mind they bother about how pelik or how tinggi my high heels are. I am so proud of it. It defines me like a trademark. You know in certain situation it might help like when somebody is searching for Teacher Syeida, the attached statement would be "Owh, yang selalu pakai kasut tumit tinggi yang pelik2 or comel2 tu?". So, isn't that easy to remember me that way?

The funny thing is, there are certain people who do not appreciate the creations of high heels. I feel sorry for these people but still nothing can shoo away this shoe-madness. Huhu

"My shoes are special ....shoes for discerning feet."

-Shoe designer Manolo Blahnik -

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Perut Kenyang Hati Pun Suka

Perutku kekenyangan setalah berjaya menghabiskan sepinggan nasi beriani berlaukkan rendang daging, gulai ayam, dalca dan acar. Nasi beriani air tangan Cikgu Haiza... Perghhh... Memang terasa seperti makan kt kedai... Memang berbaloi aku simpan perut dari semalam semata2 nk merasa semua makanan di rumahnya. And that's not all, her mee jawa was marvellous too. Boleh kata, sedap2 belaka lah. Hmmm... kalau dah cikgu Kemahiran Hidup tu tak sah lah kalau masak x sedap. But i'm not underestimating cikgu2 subjek lain. Cikgu subjek Bahasa Inggeris pn pndai masak jugak. Just xnk tunjuk bakat je. Huhu.

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